The keys to successful relationships
When asked, most people would associate a healthy relationship with love and trust. To maintain a healthy relationship both parties are required to find a balance between giving and taking. As much as we aspire to be loved by our partner, so too do we need to love our partner. Below are some of my major key’s on making relationships survive. I am no expert, but these are just observations I’ve made from the people around me.
COMMUNICATION - Hurt comes mainly from feelings of betrayal which leads to feelings of confusion, and misunderstanding. To be happy within a relationship you have to be somewhat on the same page, or at the very least the same chapter. If you don’t communicate your genuine thoughts and feelings, the other individual is left confused and maybe even naïve. Nobody can read minds, and therefore the only way for us to share thoughts and feelings is to communicate them. It’s only fair to let your partner know what’s going on inside your head. You’ve chosen to enter a relationship with this person. They have allowed themselves to be open and vulnerable with you, hence giving you a sense of responsibility to ensure that their feelings are always protected. A lack of knowledge will only cause them to feel worse when drastic chances occur. If you know that change is coming and they don’t, then they end up worse off than yourself, and that is not a decision that is up to you to make – selfish.
EQUITY - Firstly, many people believe that equality is what makes a relationship fair and happy – I disagree highly! Equity refers specifically to things being FAIR. The most important thing is to find balance which keeps both parties feeling confident, comfortable and happy. It may be that one individual does more for the other than they receive in return, and this does not always mean that something is wrong. People are different for so many possible reasons such as their gender or their upbringing, so we should never be so foolish as to expect everybody to treat us exactly as we treat them. However, we should strive to find a balance which keeps us happy.
RESPECT - This one is pretty simple really: treat people in a way that you would like somebody to treat you, or your mother, or your child. Basically, try not to do to others what you would not accept them do to you. It’s not only about respecting the individual, but also respecting your relationship. You don’t want to put your partner in a position where they think that your relationship is in a good place, whilst other people are aware that this is not actually the case. Being respectful towards your relationship means presenting your partner in a positive light to everybody on the outside, and ensuring that any issues or problems remain on the inside.
HONESTY - So many people ask for and obsess over loyalty, but how many of these people could actually define it? And out of this number, how many of these people actually internalise it? It is as easy to become loyal to the wrong things, as it is to become distracted and stray. No respectful, happy, and comfortable relationship can exist without honesty. Honesty is the key to becoming one with another being. There’s something so amazing about somebody who is so effortlessly honest and raw in conversation that they don’t even need to think twice. It’s difficult to keep up with lies because there are so many potential versions and extensions. There is only ever one truth. If I ask you about an event today and ask you about it again in a months’ time, as long as you can remember, your answers will be the same. Honesty feeds trust, and trust is integral.
Everything I spoke about is relevant to all relationships - friends and family - but especially romantic partners. To achieve genuine happiness, which is the ultimate goal, indulge in healthy relationships which keep you grounded and humble. There are enough people in the world, for us to stay away from negative people who dull our light. Positive vibes and positive energy is contagious, and that's what you should aspire to be around.
